Monday, 29 June 2015

Charlie’s Farm (2015)

“I’m not going in there, I’m scared”

Take a group of Australian 20 something's, throw in an inexplicable American girlfriend and send them to a farm where something nasty happened. Charlie's farm is a slasher in the grand old tradition of “stupid teens get chopped up” updated to make the teens slightly older (which is a good idea as Tara Reid is nearly 40 now). Its gorgeous to watch with all of the complaints I have about Hollywood horror addressed. Lighting is excellent, effects are almost all practical (or very good CGI) and exceptionally gory. I cant remember the soundtrack vastly so it obviously fitted well with the movie and was not overbearing or jarring as they often are. Pacing is also good with early flashbacks juicing up the pre-massacre scenes.


That's the good bit done.

The acting is truly abysmal from some quarters (not saying any Tara Reids) and the plot is weak to say the least. My favourite plothole/inexplicable behaviour is how 2 women will agree to travel 100s of miles across Australia to see a site where horrific things happened and then refuse to go inside! Although its nice to see Kane (Jason Vorhees) Hodder without a mask I also feel his inclusion was really so that the makers could say that Charlie is bigger!

If anything is learnt from the movie it is these 3 facts.

1) Tara Reid really cannot act

2) Fat repulsive men (that is how he is written) pull hot chicks if they have big dicks

3) The effects crew need a better gig, they are outstanding.

Charlie’s farm is one of those odd DVD/streaming releases which I don't believe went to theatres. If you can find it cheap and you like a mindless slash check it out. Despite the sub par plot and acting its still 1000 x better then anything that Hollywood are churning out right now.



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