Wednesday, 9 July 2014

The IMDB top 50 Movies of All Time Number 50 “The Dark Knight Rises”(2012)

In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).

In 2014 I decided to watch them.

4 films in I discovered they were artistic pieces that the common man would generally detest. Hence this “fun list” (list generated on 9/7/2014)

The first stop on this ‘ere fun list is in Gotham City for Number 50, Christopher Nolans “The Dark Knight Rises” and the syndrome that I knew would plague the IMDB list and prompted my decision to do the BFI list in the first place has already reared it ugly head. I call it “Blockbuster Blindness” and I will talk about it more later. Firstly, though, lets look at the Trailer.

I cannot dwell on this review as there really is so much at fault with this movie that I am actually outraged that it made the top 50 movies of all time. In fact lets bullet point it. I like bullet points.

  • Would it have hurt to give Catwoman a costume?
  • Talking of hurting, how EXACTLY does Banes mask “stop his pain” and why IS he freakishly strong? Venom doesn't seem to be in the film so it isn't that.
  • If Bruce went into reclusiveness 8 years ago how di he fund and develop a super energy source 3 years ago?
  • If the explosion of said energy source is so weak that flying it away from the city for a minute or so stops it having any harmful effects then surely it is still a damn site safer then the methods currently in usage.
  • Why were Daggets company being paid to pour explosive cement anyway?
  • All of the cities police went underground. Really. There was nobody in the stations, manning cells? Crossing patrols or traffic officers? None at all?
  • Suspension bridges don't fall down if you blow a chunk out of the roadway. Well waddayaknow.
  • How is Death by Exile worse then summery shooting?
  • Who put the scarecrow in charge of justice anyway and more importantly why would a homocidal fear obessed maniac actually want to do this?
  • How on earth does “The Bat” in essance a flying tank actually keep up?
  • Why does Gotham City just look like New York now? Its a bit … dull.
  • Wont turning Wayne Manor into an orphanage mean the eventual discovery of the Batcave?
  • How does the reduction of Civil Liberties actually result in a crime free Gotham (New York)
  • Why does anyone even bother following Bane when there is a chance of having you neck snapped by his freakishly (unexplained) strength.
  • Where is the prison and why doesn't Banes accent reflect his upbringing there?
  • How does Bane eat and drink?
  • Why does the reactor core have an accurate countdown timer just like a bomb?
  • How exactly to the impossible bike wheels work? I really cannot see the physics on that one?
  • How did Selina manage to get chosen to be the person to take Bruce his food?3
  • Why did none of the prisoners in “The Pit” engineer climbing gear and leave?
  • Where did the food and water come from in “The Pit”
  • Where did all the shit go from “The Pit”
  • How did Bane just stroll into the players tunnel of an American Football match?
  • Why did the stock exchange honour transactions that were clearly fraudulent? I mean they had a break in and everything… The police were called!

Top 50 film of all time? No fucking way! Like a lot of “Blockbusters” and “Epics” today you could use this movie to soak up the Indian Ocean it has so many holes in it.

Entertaining brainless romp? Sort of but waaaay to long for that.

A very disappointing hyped up and brainless modern movie and exactly the mess I expected.

RATINGS (at the time of publishing)

IMDB currently have the film at a ridiculously high 8.6. My score is 6 as it does look and sound nice.

2Rotten Tomatoes have the film at an undeserved 88% fresh. I would be a little more conservative with 50% rotten!

A truly overrated movie and the weakest of the Nolan films. And I still don't like the peekaboo cowl!





No 49 will exhibit slightly more quality (and i tell you now it DOES deserve its place) its…

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