Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Whatever you do, don't eat the fuckin' candy.

Confession time. I hated the idea of this film and on seeing the trailers I didn’t change my mind. Critics panned it deriding the anachronistic use of weaponry, kickass action and ludicrous set pieces. The Daily Mail summed this up well

These include machine guns, grenades and Tasers, which will surprise historians.
The movie’s one idea is that Grimms’ heroes Hansel and Gretel (played, with no apparent remorse, by Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton) were so scarred by their childhood that they grew up to be the world’s leading exponents of witch hunting.
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Now much as I would be loath to agree with the Daily Mail these were also my reservations and would have been valid if they didn't miss the point entirely. The movie is sheer fantasy. It never sets out to be “Excalibur” or  “Robin Hood”. If it could be compared stylistically with anything it would be “Army of Darkness” and although it lacks the wit of this forebear it IS technically more accomplished.


So is the film, which follows a grown up Hansel and Gretel if you had not guessed, any good?

Well no, not really. Its a fun mediocre, faux medieval romp with lashings of gore and swearing. Loads of guns and cleavage and plot points that are telegraphed from a mile away. It is predictable and silly but for the record I enjoyed it thoroughly. Because the Daily Mail missed the point so epically I will also mark it up to… oh hang on I don’t give stars!

Worth a look on a cold winters night but don't expect an epic. Also never read The Mail.


Pictured: Daily Mail reader Edward

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