Thursday, 8 March 2012

The Thing (2011)

You think they're gonna pay a bonus for bringing home an alien instead of core samples?

I was expecting to be filled with disgust and nerd fuelled outrage at what they have done to the thing. Oddly I am not. I think that is because The Thing 0 is actually not terrible, its not Terrible at all. The big sticking point was going to be the CGI, which I hate, and they honestly got away with it in my opinion. There are a couple off more noticeable effects but on the whole the creature is realistic and effectively portrayed. As a monster slasher movie The Thing is honestly quite passable.vlcsnap-2012-03-08-10h57m07s160

There lies the main problem. Its not supposed to be a prequel to a Monster Slasher, it’s a prequel to a tense mystery that happens to have a monster in it. There are far too many people, the creature is far too aggressive and often the easiest way to tell who is “The Thing” is wait for them to change and then run away or flame then. The beast is seriously retarded. In Carpenters vision it was smart enough to hide in plain sight, here it feels compelled to reveal itself at the slightest provocation. A case in point is the reveal in the helicopter which, while impressive, was totally unneeded. If it had stayed hidden…

The decision to include the Ripley effect is also bizarre, by this I mean “pretty woman survives”. This is a horrific trope and one reason that Wolf Creek affected me so heavily. Women shouldn’t be inviolate by reason of their sex… particularly not the pretty young Americans. While on the subject of Aliens, this film is hugely reminiscent of it and obviously heavily influenced. We have facehugger “Things”, hidden around a corner “Things” and even a sleeping man in the dropship, sorry Helicopter.vlcsnap-2012-03-08-10h00m57s251

The end feeling is a functional film that would have been a fairly good monster flick if it hadn’t tried to ride on the coattails of a classic. Instead we have a reasonable flick that really doesn't like up to its provenance.

A timewaster but nothing more, the biggest scare is provided by a man saying Boo! Contrast that with the defibrillation scene in the original… Take a look but don't spend on it.

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