Thursday, 29 September 2011

Heidi Twen-T-Twlv

I have just received this email, I guess in error, who would have though that the email  address ideas@cartunenetwork.com would have paid off! Anyway its fairly exciting and I cant wait for the result, I post the highlights below.

bob.nobba@xxxx.com:

Yo Ricky ma man I have been asked to pass on this idea that we have had for a bitchin new TV show. You know with all the fuss that nostalgic reboots have entailed I have had a great idea. I was sitting in my mansions crapper, taking a dump, and i reached for a pile of 100s to wipe my ass with when it struck me. I had been humming a ditty like we all do when taking a shit and I couldn't place it. Then it sunk in. Check out this vid.

Yes, its Heidi. Nobody has made Heidi for years man. Lets do IT.

I have rejigged this so it makes timeline sense. The email was pretty jumbled and all arse about face. i guess it was sent with a certain popular piece of email software… Anyway, here is the reply.

richard.head@xxxx.com:

Kick ass dude. That's a bitchin gnarly idea. I LOVE it. Just one question, why the fuck would todays modern audience want to see their wonderful childhood memories rebuilt. I think we need a reboot. I suggest the following:

  1. Relocate Heidi to the suberbs of Glasgow
  2. Grandfathers could lead to child abuse claims. Let make it an auntie instead. A gay one
  3. Peter the goatherd could be a problem. No goats in Glasgow. How about Justin, he doesn't need a career, perhaps he could just be a bloke. Make him shirtless and buffed….oh and vampires are cool, make him a gay vampire (in denial so Heidi can still lust after him)
  4. We need to appease the old fans, how about a lover of the auntie called Clara. Stick her in a wheelchair. Then we can have Justin heal her with magic!
  5. We need to make it relevant, how about naming it something cool like Heidi Twen-T-Twlv

We are gonna make so much fucking money.

Unbelievable.

In conclusion STOP REBOOTING STUFF YOU STUPID NOBRAIN TWATS.

I have yet to see a decent one (and NO BSG was NOT decent).

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