Sunday, 6 June 2010

Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf

Howling 2 is without any doubt the greatest film ever made. It is magnificent. I additionally have a 9” penis and roger a succession of 18 year old virgins on their coming of age. Pretty much all of the previous is totally untrue (except the bit about the penis).

Howling 2 is an absolute clusterfuck of a movie. It makes no logical sense from one scene to the next and all of the acting is truly atrocious. It holds 3 trophies in my heart.

1) It is the worst film I have ever seen Christopher Lee in.Saruman, was it a bet or what!

2) It has the most nauseating sex scenes ever. (Hairy women = not sexy)Seriously WTF

3) It proved that Jimmy Nail should stick to Geordie.Don't even ask!

I made my way through the film wondering how such a simple plot can be so confusing. What the fuck is actually happening? Does anyone know? Did the makers know? Seriously this film can be described by looking up the word Dreadful in a Thesaurus. In fact I will.

Main Entry:
dreadful

Part of Speech:
adjective

Definition:
horrible, frightening

Synonyms:
abominable, alarming, appalling, atrocious, awful,bad, beastly, creepy*, dire, distressing, fearful,formidable, frightful, frozen, ghastly, godawful,grievous, grim, grody, gross*, hideous,horrendous, horrific, icky, lousy, mean,monstrous, rotten, shameful, shocking, shuddersome, spooky, terrible, terrific, tragic,tremendous, wicked. Howling 2

If you ever have an enemy, an anti-you. Someone you detest, abhor and wouldnt piss on if they were on fire you still would not inflict them with Howling 2.

Avoid. In fact don’t even look at the case. If you have the money pay a hypnotherapist to erase the very words from your mind.

Paul out…and trying to self medicate with Absinthe and … well more Absinthe.

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