Monday, 2 November 2009

Prince of Darkness (1987)

Trailer time:

I am guessing that Prince of Darkness is an early Carpenter. It has all the hallmarks of his work with Halloween style street scenes and Thing like music. Hell it even has Donald Pleasance and the two Chinese actors from Big Trouble.

Unfortunately I expect I am wrong as Alice Cooper was also happy to cameo as a psycho –hobo so he probably had a name at this stage. Additionally the film is credited as John Carpenters: Prince of Darkness which would also lead me to believe he was known at this stage (or fucking arrogant). This is of course, at odds with the budget of 50p. John is a genius, he has produced, written and directed some of the best genre films of the latter part of the 20th century. So I must ask…what the fuck happened here?Oxy-10: Why you have to ask the chemist for it.

The film is bloody awful and offends me to the maximum. No its not the bastardisation of religious beliefs, I couldn’t give a rats arse about that, but the absolute bollocks science that is spouted. anyway I am getting ahead of myself.

Plot (what there is of it). There is a big tank of goo under an old church that contains some kid of evil that is getting out. People will die (predictably) and some screaming will occur. At the end there will be a sacrifice. Viewers wont care. People will wonder who lit all those fucking candles? Nonsense will be stated about Carbon Dating (apparently it can date inorganic material that is 7 million years old) and casual racial slurs flung about. Hobos will play a large part in wandering around and looking menacing. Maybe John has Hobophobia? Very poor physical effects befitting of a school project will be employed to make the audience entirely unconvinced that anything exceptional is happening. Anyway, I have already wasted 1hr and 30 mins of my life on this pap, lets see what IMDB has to say about production year etc. Ahhhh. OK. Oh no hang on it makes sense now. Apart from They Live this was the first of Carpenters really shit films. By the time this one was made his talent had obviously dried up completely. Still doesn't explain the budget but hey ho. I also just realised that Halloween was undoubtedly earlier but I like my intro so I’m keeping it. Tough. Don’t argue…its MY blog.Whats this....its GROWING!!!!!!

Paul Out…and honestly don’t bother!

Seriously. Are they everlasting or what?

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