Wednesday, 12 August 2009

The Burning (1981)

Its 1981, Friday 13th has been a massive success and serial killers with a twist are in. Holding firmly onto Mrs Voorhees’ coattails come The Burning. vlcsnap-2009-08-12-20h26m27s140

Our bad guy is Croppsy a wronged camp caretaker that was burned near to death by one of the Camp Counsellors who is SO repentant he tell the tale at camp fires. His version has it as murder however.

So this lunatic returns to wreak his revenge. Great plot eh? No, its rather shit. The Burning has no likeable characters, a smattering of breasts (with a shower scene that is close to soft porn) and horny teens who are only horny if they are men. Seriously what is it with the prick teases in this? Another ongoing plotline is the odd Albert (i think, can’t be arsed to check) who seems to be stalking one of our girls? It never resolves. In face there is no real twist or revelation at all here. Nobody is memorable and nobody strong enough to deserve to live.vlcsnap-2009-08-12-20h41m28s192

Hell you burned the Guy close to death and abandoned his body, he survived but you didn’t know and still think it is worth telling stories about. Fuck Croppsy, I want to kill you myself!

One thing could have redeemed this flick and that is Tom Savinis fantastic effects. Even they are not enough however and it’s unfortunate that Tom is linked forever to this turd of a film. Thankfully it didn’t affect his career too badly.vlcsnap-2009-08-12-21h37m32s44

Best left in 1981 where it belongs The Burning was never going to challenge for the Friday the 13th trophy, but it doesn't even come close. Worse then that it doesn't even have the twist that made Sleepaway Camp stand out from the pack and if it wasn’t for the DVD age and the availability of media I would never have seen it. I wouldn’t have mourned the loss.

Paul Out…and rather disappointed

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