Monday, 13 July 2009

Too much Tango made me complain to the ASA

I am not a busybody.

I do have a sense of humour.

When I saw this ad, however, it took a while to sink in exactly WHAT I was seeing.

tango_hi_res-1-500x748

I though about it and mulled over the comedic potential of a fizzy soft drink causing urges to do strange stuff. I get that, its quite smart in an infantile sort of way. The problem I have is that this is unremittingly crude. In essence this ad is saying “I sucked a Bulls Cock”. Would we accept something like that?

What next, Too much tango made me shit in a coppers helmet? Too much Tango made me shag a baboon in the arse? Well Too much Tango made me complain.

There are a whole raft of these at the moment, ranging from strange to offensive to downright vulgar. Strange I accept, offensive should never have made it past whatever body is meant to screen these things and vulgar, well they should have known better.

tango_hi_res-4-500x749Vulgar and unsettlingly crude. The only way I can see this was passed for publication is that the daft bint OK’ing this stuff was totally unaware that lob-on means erection. Yes the ad says “Too much Tango made a friend of mine unable to gain a penile erection” A statement I would be so happy to explain to my pre-teen children.tango_hi_res-3-500x749 Hmmm, were we getting desperate? Just not very funny.  tango_hi_res-5-500x749Excellent. Ginger jokes with added pubes. Again this may be OK for after 9pm on Channel 4 but not on a high street bus stop.tango_hi_res-10-500x749

OK, fair enough. Hair loss you say and casual sexism. Was the ism an afterthought? I think I will just have a Coke thanks.tango_hi_res-9-500x749 WHAT, orange FARTS to sell drinks. I thought I had this campaign understood then this pops up! Why not just go the whole hog and say “Too much Tango turns your piss orange” Somebody really didn’t think this through did they. Hey guys I have a great idea, why not draw attention to the shitloads of additives in our drink. I bet that will sell some!tango_hi_res-8-500x749Quite simply, what the fuck does that mean? Is it another pube joke? Did they just throw random words together? Surely even these advertisers wouldn't do that.tango_hi_res-7-500x749 Oh. OK they would.tango_hi_res-6-500x749

We round off with its ability to cause hallucinations. I suggest “Too much tango made me think i was a vampire and kill my sister to drink her blood. I’m in prison now. Fucking shit bollocks.”

I actually like Tango because it is very, very orangey. I don't thing they have ever mentioned that oh so important fact in any ads though! For me now, I’m on the Fanta.

WAIT BUT THERES MORE… and it isn't a free handy juicer.

Take a look at the “Tango With Added Tango” label. Read downwards.

tango_hi_res-5-500x749 crop

Someone, somewhere is laughing at us.

Its not big and its not clever, Britvik have gone too far this time.

Paul out…and drinking Tescos own brand.

 

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