Thursday, 18 June 2009

The Hamiltons (2006)

Ahh the Butcher Brothers such well known names are affixed to this horror so it must be good. Who could forget their previous hits … and  … Hang on… Who the fuck are The Butcher Brothers. IMDB time…

Ahhhhh. Right. Its a gestalt nom-de-plume for Mitchell Altieri and Phil Flores who before this had made..pretty much nothing.


Three things scream out at you from the off with this one. Budget, budget and budget. The acting is stilted, the camera work gives the distinct impression that they have a grand total of 1 camera and the music is probably the biggest expense in the piece (and it barely exists).

The Hamiltons tells the story of a drifting family who are painfully stereotyped in an way oddly reminiscent of Mum and Dad with cellar bound prisoners and strange familial goings on at every turn. The story it tells, to be honest, is a nice take on vampire legends. It tells in in such a simple pedestrian way that all impact is pretty much lost. It is also clear that the film suffered at the hands of the classification boards with the small amount of blood and nudity earning a UK 18 certificate, unfairly in my opinion. In their position I’d have ramped the blood and sex to the max if i was aware of this insult. My opinion of censors is low at the best of times but this seems like a perfect example of ratings prejudice.

With the backing of a larger budget and greater studio involvement (who'd have thought I’d say that!) this could have been quite polished, and had fairer treatment at classification level. Instead it tastes wholly of amateur.


Not great, not a classic, but a reasonable time waster for a very rainy day. Maybe we will see great things from “The Butcher Brothers” in the future but I have a feeling that this bite of the cherry was passed over.

Paul Out… and hungry for blood.

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