Friday, 12 June 2009

Ham fisted bloody kids

I have no shame in admitting that I am a nerd.  One thing I’m nerdy about is childhood and the games that we played. One sticking in my mind was Mousetrap.

Any parent will tell you that the best thing about kids is that you can play with their toys, the added advantage for me is the current nostalgia trip that is in place and all the classic games that you can now buy once more. But you can’t.

You see my kids are Ham Fisted. They make Norman Wisdom look light on his feet. Grown bulls in china shops are scared of their prowess. This does not match well with the reduction in build quality that seems to have happened. This was first encountered when I got them Guess Who, I remember hours of fun playing this but once I bought it for the kids the magic faded. You see Guess Who is now made from wafer thin plastic and tissue paper. It took about 30 seconds to start falling apart. Now its strewn everywhere and totally unplayable. I looked at Downfall, forget it, its a totally different game. Go For Broke, the bloody stickers don't even stay stuck. Game of Life? Different game entirely. My son was given a Transformer, bloody fantastic, until the plastic snapped (I remember my old one was metal).Surely Mousetrap wont let me down?

Yep the new mousetrap is crap! You build the trap entirely before you start, half of the traps don't work and it KEEPS BLOODY GOING OFF.


Imagine my excitement when i spotted a vintage 1960s mousetrap game in the local Sue Ryder shop. In my sweaty mitts it went and we hurried home. I was scared that there wouldn’t be a piece in there. Especially as I know how destructive and useless my kids are. Nope complete. Even the band was there. We had a blissful little game me and my kids and they all agreed that it is better then the new fangled crap by far.


3 days later my daughter has just broken a cog. 40 fucking years it has survived and 3 days with my firstborn kills it. I don't know whether i should be glad that it proves that she is pure destructive evil or annoyed at her abilities.

Paul Out… and bloody annoyed.

PS. The new Scalextric on the other hand is fucking awesome.

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