Saturday, 10 September 2016
Whether this becomes an expensive fad, a descent into failed print madness or a massive success that destines me for greatness remains to be seen.
If you care check it out HERE
As far as this blog goes. There will be reviews, maybe. I need to be in the mood and lately I am not. It sometimes feels more like a cross to bear than a crutch to support. I am sure I will get the passion back one day though.
Monday, 29 June 2015
“I’m not going in there, I’m scared”
Take a group of Australian 20 something's, throw in an inexplicable American girlfriend and send them to a farm where something nasty happened. Charlie's farm is a slasher in the grand old tradition of “stupid teens get chopped up” updated to make the teens slightly older (which is a good idea as Tara Reid is nearly 40 now). Its gorgeous to watch with all of the complaints I have about Hollywood horror addressed. Lighting is excellent, effects are almost all practical (or very good CGI) and exceptionally gory. I cant remember the soundtrack vastly so it obviously fitted well with the movie and was not overbearing or jarring as they often are. Pacing is also good with early flashbacks juicing up the pre-massacre scenes.
That's the good bit done.
The acting is truly abysmal from some quarters (not saying any Tara Reids) and the plot is weak to say the least. My favourite plothole/inexplicable behaviour is how 2 women will agree to travel 100s of miles across Australia to see a site where horrific things happened and then refuse to go inside! Although its nice to see Kane (Jason Vorhees) Hodder without a mask I also feel his inclusion was really so that the makers could say that Charlie is bigger!
If anything is learnt from the movie it is these 3 facts.
1) Tara Reid really cannot act
2) Fat repulsive men (that is how he is written) pull hot chicks if they have big dicks
3) The effects crew need a better gig, they are outstanding.
Charlie’s farm is one of those odd DVD/streaming releases which I don't believe went to theatres. If you can find it cheap and you like a mindless slash check it out. Despite the sub par plot and acting its still 1000 x better then anything that Hollywood are churning out right now.
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Mrs. Taggart: My dear, would you mind sitting somewhere else? Body odor offends me.I had the best shower ever last night, yes the bathroom is almost done. The fitter is up there right now doing da biznizz.
I also watched a rather nice and out of genre Hammer Movie called “The Anniversary” starring a little known actress, some bird called Bette Davis.
I say out of genre because it certainly isn’t a horror despite her behaviour. The Anniversary is a drama/comedy based on a stage play and its thespian roots truly do shine through. Like all great movies it is a character driven masterpiece revolving around Bettes cruel manipulation of her three children, all desperate to release themselves from her well tied apronstrings.
The youngest, Tom, is getting married to his pregnant fiancé… if he isn't talked out of it.
The middle “child” Terry plans to emigrate to Canada with his wife and 6 kids… maybe.
The oldest is Henry, he is resigned to his fate, to live with his mother and steal ladies underwear to wear.
Every year Mrs Taggart celebrates her Anniversary, even though her husband is long dead, its a great chance to meet up with her boys and bring them closer to her manipulative bosom.
Its great fun to watch despite its mildness as a comedy as the twists and turns of her manipulation are glorious and her cold hearted “love” is a joy to behold. I heartily recommend this movie as a great timewaster.